There are so many benefits to having such an organised guide, whether you are planning your own wedding (a once-off event) or you are a professional wedding planner that needs to coordinate and juggle a number of these special days for a host of unique clients. As an individual planning your own big day, you can make great use of this guide, especially if you feel overwhelmed by the idea of not knowing where to start. This guide will ease you into the notion of planning your own wedding, and will give you a great plan of where to start. As a professional wedding coordinator, a wedding planning guide, or a collection of your favourites, can act as templates and references for each wedding that you undertake – your own personal library. Although your clients are unique and have specific requirements, the guide can be used as a template for the basic planning foundation, as well as for different ideas and tips. You may even let your clients have a look at various guides so that they can get some handy hints or inspirations.

As a bride-to-be, your wedding planning guide will become a very special keepsake. Your notes, photographs and comments will bring a smile to your face in the years to come, when you idly flip through the pages and relive the fun and excitement of this time. Certain wedding planners, such as Love Celebration, allow you to record your first thoughts when you met one another, your engagement story, and so on, which is really very special, particularly if you plan to have children and show them your wedding planner in the future.

Wedding planners often have an area in which you can store your quotes or make a note of the amount quoted, which means that everything is in one, easy-to-access place. This makes administration much easier and allows you to compare quotes quickly and easily.

A good wedding planning publication will provide information and guidance on sensitive issues – such as how to ask for money as a gift, what to wear if you are a pregnant bride, how to deal with difficult family members, and so on. It should also give you plenty of tips and ideas, so that you are able to get inspiration from it and make your day even more special, personal and memorable.

Finally, an important part of a wedding planning guide is to ensure that you, whether you are the bride or professional coordinator, do not forget an important part of the process. This is done both in the main content as well as in comprehensive checklists. Use these resources extensively and be assured of a well-planned day that allows you to relax and enjoy it.

The following categories of wedding planner are designed to assist you to decide how involved you want to be and what you want your professional coordinator to handle:

The Ad Hoc Planner
This is the type of planner you would hire if you only needed assistance with one or two parts of your wedding planning process. These could be matters about which you do not know much (such as jazz bands as entertainment or the type of menu you want for a vintage themed wedding, for example). They will just take care of this specific task, taking that extra weight off your shoulders. This is, obviously, cheaper than a full-service coordinator and still leaves you with plenty of freedom and versatility in terms of planning your own event.

The Last-Minute Planner
If you are finding that you are becoming swamped with last-minute details and your day is looming over your head, consider hiring someone to take care of these matters and to ensure that everything is in order. Often, when under stress, we can let important issues slip unnoticed. By hiring someone to come in at the end of the process, you ensure that, although your day is uniquely yours, an expert has come in and added their professional touch, making sure that everything is exactly as you have planned it to be.

It is a good idea to request that this planner puts a detailed itinerary together for the week before your wedding so that you are sure and comfortable with everything that needs to take place, when and how.

The Part-Time Planner
This type of wedding planner is present and available throughout the pre-wedding period, providing guidance and advice to the bride-to-be. Usually, this planner’s involvement consists of advising and guiding the bride, but letting her communicate with potential suppliers, source quotes, and so on, herself. The planner may assist with finding service providers and may also attend dress fittings and décor appointments to be able to provide input, but does not perform the specific tasks themselves. This cuts a lot of the work that the planner has to do and allows the bride-to-be to be very ‘hands on’, while also saving a significant amount of money.

The Full-Time Planner
The full-time wedding planner is there to help you every step of the way. They will provide insight, advice and ideas for everything from flowers to honeymoon destinations, and will take the lead in organising these for you. This is a fabulous way to decrease your own stress, particularly if you are also very busy at work, pregnant or busy moving house. A good wedding planner will even handle issues such as pre-wedding jitters, family feuds and weeping attacks. They usually have good relationships with vendors and can, potentially, get better prices for you. While these types of wedding planners are substantially more expensive than other types, they are certainly worth their weight in gold for couples that do not know how or are not prepared to plan a full-scale wedding.

Just minutes after the ring and the finger have encountered one another, couples frequently calm their excitement for just a moment and think “what now?” We have compiled a step-by-step guide to being engaged, giving you, as the excited betrothed no room for unnecessary stress or confusion.

Step 1
Get the most out of being engaged, just enjoy it. Jump around, kiss one another, see how the diamond looks in every kind of light, cry, laugh, do what you must. Think about your joy, and analyse your excitement for your future as a couple. Write down exactly how you got engaged and what you felt. Take pictures of your ring and you as a newly engaged couple.

Step 2
Tell the people that matter most that you are now engaged. This usually starts off with your parents, and then your siblings, other family and, finally, friends and colleagues. It is always best to tell those closest to you in person and together. However, if that is not possible, Skype is a great idea (as opposed to posting your engaged status on Facebook to announce the happy event).

Step 3
Get a wedding planning file and start using it to vent your frustrations, make important notes, jot down ideas for your wedding and record your emotions and experiences throughout this exciting time. This journal will provide an outlet for your frustrations and will remind you of ideas and chores. In addition, you can look back on it in years to come and appreciate the time you took to record these precious moments. More modern brides- and grooms-to-be may prefer to do this in the form of an online blog.

Step 4
Formally announce your engagement to the world. You may choose to do this in a local or national newspaper, on an online resource like Facebook or by mailing announcements (physically or electronically) to friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances.  Creating a wedding website is another way of allowing everyone access to the information around your big day.

Step 5
Decide on a wedding date and set it. This may depend on factors such as when family and friends can travel to be there, when your dream venue will be available, how much time you need to budget, when you would like to go on honeymoon, and so on.

Step 6
Decide on what sort of wedding you want. For example, do you want (and can you afford) a grand ball for hundreds of guests? Would you prefer an intimate celebration that just oozes elegance? Or perhaps a relaxed garden brunch for friends and family? You need to decide this as a couple so that you are both satisfied with the overall tone of your special day.

Step 7
Set your budget by sitting together and thinking rationally about how much each of you can contribute and what you anticipate your family to contribute. It is imperative that your budget is reasonable, possible and does not get you into debt. Be specific in what you and your families are prepared to pay and what every cent of that will go towards.  It is wise to open a separate bank account that holds only money for your wedding and honeymoon.

Step 8
Choose your groomsmen, best man, maid of honour and bridesmaids. More than just their responsibilities on your wedding day, these ones fulfil many tasks ahead of time, so get them involved at this stage. It is always considered appropriate to ask siblings to fulfil these positions. If you do not have siblings, you can then ask very good friends.

Step 9
Look for a ceremony and reception venue as soon as possible. Book it as soon as you are sure that it is the one as finding venues can be the most difficult part of the pre-wedding arrangements.

Step 10
Rally support in the form of friends, family members and professionals. You only get one shot to plan the perfect day and it is important that, while organised, you are not too stressed out and exhausted to enjoy it. A wedding planner may be expensive but, if you can afford one, they will save you from mounds of stress, admin and dealing with suppliers.

The short answer is “yes”. The fact is that everybody could do with some helpful advice and communication tips before diving into the most important decision of their lives. Some may need this more than others, but no one will ever lose out from accepting counsel from a therapist, religious leader or a marriage veteran.

It has been shown that couples can and do increase the chances of the success of their marriage, particularly at the beginning stages, when they have enjoyed pre-wedding counselling. At this time, even couples that have lived together before the wedding experience a transitional phase, a period in which they are becoming accustomed to being legally bound until death.

Learning what challenges to expect and how to address these in a new, effective way is hugely beneficial before one goes through the ceremony. It prevents the panic that often ensues after the first “married” fight and enlightens one about the otherwise unspoken expectations of the other, which may never have been expressed verbally. Learning to speak to one another in a way that works for you as a couple is a skill that will always benefit the cohesion of the union.

Some churches or religious institutions have an in-house counsellor that will be willing to hear the concerns of the individuals, or the couple. They provide counsel based on the Bible, or relevant religious texts of that faith. These sessions allow the couple to feel spiritually backed, but also give them the opportunity to express themselves to someone that understands their moral and religious context. This counselling is actually required by some churches before they will allow you to wed in their facilities.

Should couples decide to go for pre-wedding counselling, it is necessary that they get their issues out. They should express themselves honestly and completely so that both they and their partners have the opportunity to deal with potential obstacles without hindrance. However, they should also talk about topics that they may think they agree upon, such as:

• Having children – if, when, how many, etc…
• Religion – will one of them expect the other to go to their church, if it is different? What faith will children be required to follow? What happens if one of the partners wants to stop attending church or wants to change their religion?
• Finances – are both of them going to work? How much money do they need to fulfil their financial obligations? Who will be responsible for drawing up the budget? Will they each have their own bank account or will all money be pooled and shared?
• Family – will one or both of them need to provide care and perhaps even accommodation to a parent in the near future? How many times will they be required to visit one another’s family? How will they handle celebrations such as Christmas and birthdays if they need to travel to certain family members for these?

No marriage is always going run smoothly. There will be obstacles and subjects of disagreement. There will be times when both partners need to submit to the wants, beliefs or needs of the other, even making personal sacrifices. However, with pre-marital counselling, many of the major issues can be addressed and handled in an environment of professionalism, peace and openness.

The following tips will unlock the secrets behind planning and adhering to a successful budget:

Pick a Number
As a couple, sit down together and have an open, frank discussion about how much you are both happy to spend on the wedding ceremony, reception and honeymoon. You will likely both need to concede in certain areas, teaching you the important lesson of self-sacrifice (essential to any happy marriage). By the end of the conversation, you should have reached a point at which you are both satisfied with the outcome.

Take Contributions
Discuss honestly with those that will want to contribute towards your wedding day about how much they are able and willing to contribute. Traditionally, this is usually the parents, but it could be well meaning family members and friends too. This may seem quite brazen, but it is always better than being disappointed be getting far less than you had expected and having to foot the rest of the bill yourself. It is more than probable that the people helping you financially are those that are close to you and, therefore, appreciative of your honesty. Traditionally, there are some expectations about who should pay for what, but these are generally regarded as old-fashioned.

Save Your Pennies
It is a wise idea to open a separate bank account for all of your wedding expenses and save a set amount of money every month or week. Ensure that this saving is deducted from your regular account by a debit order so that you are not tempted to use it. Tighten the belt on extravagant or unnecessary expenses, including eating out. Put aside all extra savings in addition to the committed amount and watch your wedding budget boom.

Insure Your Happiness
Wedding insurance is gaining rising popularity in South Africa. It will increase your wedding costs a little, but can save you a lot of money in an unexpected emergency or disaster. Such events include losing your groom’s suit at the airport, your venue burning down or a strike at your catering company.

Prioritise
Decide on what you definitely want at your wedding and what you can do without. Your wedding reception will likely be the most expensive part of the big day. If you can cut down on non-essentials (such as having six bridesmaids instead of one) you will save a lot of extra cash.

For the Record
Keep a detailed record of all monies that come in and go out of your bank account or savings. Be strict with yourself about adhering to your budget. Spending small amounts here and there will add up, resulting in a bulk amount that could have been better spent on other aspects of your big day.

Just in Case
Always be prepared by keeping a lump sum available in case of unexpected emergencies. If you do not need it for the wedding in the end, this money can be spent on your honeymoon or towards your new home.

We all need money to live and enjoy the finer things of life. However, the love and commitment of your big day need not be dominated and overshadowed by money. Focus on the nature of the day, plan ahead and exercise self-control so that you can have a truly priceless wedding.

Photo Credit: Women24

The following parties are those that are most commonly held and expected. This does not, however, mean that they are absolutely necessary. Every couple is unique and should enjoy their day in a way that is special to them.

The Engagement Party
This is the ‘coming out’ party, your first appearance as the betrothed couple. This can be formal or relaxed and you can decide whether to allow children and partners to come. There are very few rules surrounding engagement parties. You may choose to start using the theme of the wedding (e.g. vintage) or its colours at this stage.

Who To Invite: Family and friends, including those that you will not be able to accommodate at your wedding because of space limitations, giving them the chance to share in your celebrations.

Expect: Some of your guests may bring gifts, but it is not always necessary.

The Hen Party or Pamper Party
There really should only be one of these parties. However, some brides, particularly those with very different groups of friends, might have two or even three of these. If there are one or two people that are invited to all of these, this will definitely become overbearing and taxing for these ones.

Who to Invite: The bride’s female family, colleagues and friends as well as the ladies on the groom’s side of the guest list. If you feel that the difference between the young and old will be too drastic, consider starting off with a tame affair and heating it up once the older ones have left. This saves you from having to throw two parties but still allows everyone to enjoy it.

Expect: Your more traditional guests are likely to bring kitchen items, such as cutlery, crockery and cooking utensils. The younger guests may bring sexy lingerie, pampering oils, or even slightly more risqué items.

The Bachelor Party or Stag Night
This is another once-off affair that should incorporate all of the desired activities and people in one party. Because this party is often characterised by heavy drinking, it should never be held the night before the wedding. The groom will only feel miserable and tired.

Who to Invite: The male friends, colleagues and family members of the groom as well as the gents from her side of the family. These should include young and old.

Expect: No gifts, but plenty of games and fun. It is always a good idea to include some sort of activity or sport, and then round that off with drinks and / or dinner. Bachelor parties continue to have a bad reputation for the misbehaviour of the men involved. Think carefully about what you are willing to do at this party as it is likely to affect your enjoyment of your wedding day.

Rehearsal Dinner
While not all couples choose to do this, a rehearsal dinner works well to calm the nerves of the couple as they practice walking down the aisle and so on. This is then followed by a dinner with those involved in your big day as well as close family members. This really is a get-together to relax, laugh and enjoy the fun around your wedding day. This should be held on the night before the wedding.

Who to invite: The bridesmaids, groomsmen, best man, maid of honour, parents, siblings and best friends of the couple.

Expect: No gifts, but plenty of love and attention.

There are, obviously, different circumstances. Some of these may dictate more than one Pamper Party, for example. This may occur in the case of a bride-to-be that has family far away. She will likely enjoy a party in her home town as well as one for closer family members when she is in their area. There are no hard-and-fast rules, but consideration should be paid to the budgetary constraints of guests as well as to their energy and involvement levels. Do not allow an excessive number of pre-wedding parties to spoil the impact of your special day.

Image Courtesy of Coventry Limo Hire

A pre-planned seating chart is almost always necessary, unless you are having a very small, intimate wedding. In addition, it is actually expected by the guests and is, therefore, appropriate. Usually, the table closest to the main bridal table is for the bridal couple’s parents as well as the officiant and his or her spouse. The bridal table is usually for the bride, groom, Maid of Honour, bridesmaids, Best Man and groomsmen. Many couples often include their parents at this table rather than at a separate one. Alternatively, some couples have opted for a private table, just for the two of them.

The following mistakes should be avoided when organising the seating plan:

• Leaving the step-parents out of the bridal table while the parents are included
• Having one table for all of the people that do not fit anywhere else (this just makes for one awkward, quiet table of uncomfortable guests)
• Having a table for children with no one to look after them
• Seating two single people next to one another with the obvious intent for them to get to know one another better (this is inappropriate and can be very embarrassing for both of them)
• Not assigning any seats and causing a rush for the “good” seats (this also takes longer)
• Seating the elderly near speakers or too far away from the action to see or hear anything
• Splitting couples up

These tips should help in creating an orderly, appropriate seating chart with minimal frustration:

• Make sure that the seating chart is clearly visible and easy to understand
• Make sure that any place cards or names are written in a font that is large and simple enough to read
• Have all of the parents and step-parents at one table OR enjoying the same proximity to the bridal couple as one another to avoid feeling of jealousy or arguments
• Seat every guest at a table with at least one other person or couple that they know
• Consider the personalities and interests of your guests when planning their seating arrangements
• Ask your mother-in-law-to-be to help with the seating of the members from the other side of the family, some of whom you may not have met
• Seat speakers close to the floor so that they do not have to come from the back of the room, perhaps tripping over bags on their way
• Try to put families, friends and colleagues together and then include a person or couple that does not know anyone else at the reception
• Ask friends and family to speak to any individual or couple that does not know others
• Do not put any ex-couples at the same table. Even if they really are alright in one another’s company, their new partners may not feel quite as comfortable
• Place tables and chairs in such a way that it is easy for serving staff to access every guest and that allows for guests to move easily between them
• Place elderly ones and pregnant guests closer to the toilets
• Be sure to tell the caterers the name and table number of guests with dietary preferences (vegetarian, kosher, Halaal, allergies etc…)

Image Courtesy Jennifer Carrol Events

10h30 – Bride and bridal party get their hair done (wear zip-up or button-up tops so that you do not need to pull your clothing over your hair)

12h00 – Bride and bridal party have their make-up done (if one person is doing everyone’s make-up, allow more time)

13h00 – The bridal party should have a light lunch now that will not cause bloating or drowsiness

13h00 – An elected person delivers the flowers to the ceremony venue and the final bits of decorating are completed

13h15 – Photographer arrives to capture the bride’s preparation process

13h15 – The bride and bridesmaids begin getting dressed

13h45 – The groom, best man and groomsmen begin getting dressed

14h00 – The officiant / marriage officer, ushers and musicians arrive at the venue in which the ceremony will be conducted

14h15 – Begin playing prelude music as the guests are likely to start arriving from now on

14h20 – The bridal transport arrives to collect the bride and her party

14h30 – The groom, best man and groomsmen arrive at the ceremony venue

14h30 – The videographer arrives and sets up his or her equipment so that it is ready to capture the parents and bridal party

14h35 – The mother of the bride, flower girl, ring bearer and bridesmaids leave the preparation venue and head for the ceremony venue

14h40 – The bride and the person that will be giving her away (usually her father) leave the preparation venue for the ceremony venue

14h50 – The mother of the bride arrives at the venue at which the ceremony will be held

14h50 – The mother of the groom is now escorted to her seat

14h55 – the bride and the person giving her away arrive at the ceremony venue

14h55 – The groom, best man and groomsmen stand up and await the bride in their position at the end of the aisle

14h57 – The mother of the bride is escorted down the aisle to her seat

15h00 – The music for the bride’s entrance begins and the bridesmaids, flower girl, maid of honour and bride walk down the aisle

15h05 – The ceremony begins

15h45 – The ceremony ends

15h50 – The receiving line is formed

16h00 – The caterers arrive at the reception venue and make the final preparations for guest arrivals

16h30 – The bridal party go for their official photo shoot

17h30 – Cocktails and snacks are served to the guests arriving at the reception venue. Background music begins now

18h00 – The bride and groom arrive at the reception venue and form a line for guests to meet and greet them

18h30 – The entertainment arrives at the reception venue

18h40 – The Master of Ceremonies (MC) announces the new married couple

18h45 – Dinner is served and enjoyed

19h30 – Speeches begin and toasts are made

19h45 – Dessert is served

20h00 – The First Dance

20h00 – The bride and groom cut the wedding cake

22h00 – The tossing of the bouquet and the garter

23h00 – The bride and groom have their last dance to bid farewell to their family and friends

23h15 – The bride and groom leave the reception venue

00h00 – The musicians play their last number and begin packing up

Obviously, the times can change according to the time of day your wedding will be held and the time you want to leave between the ceremony and reception. Some bridal couples prefer to have the speeches before any of the food is served, while others prefer it after the main meal so that guests are not hungry.

Image Courtesy of The New York 10

The MC can be a friend or family member of either the bride or groom. It is important that he knows one or both of you well, so that he can convey an intimate friendship, rather than sounding cold or generic. You may want to ask the best man or one of the groomsmen to perform this function for you. But, they will be busy with other aspects of your wedding day, so consider asking someone that is close to you that, perhaps, did not ‘crack the nod’ as a groomsman. Asking someone that does not have any other duties on the day will also make him more likely to be able to focus on the job at hand and put 100% into his job as MC.

The qualities that you should look out for in your potential MC should include a friendly, easy speaker. Nothing is worse for the MC or the guests than his dreading doing this important job because of nerves. Choose someone that is comfortable around you, your family and your friends and who knows some light, inside jokes to share with these ones. While making the speeches and comments funny helps, the main concern when choosing your MC should be whether he will convey thoughts and plans in an honest, sincere way.

Your Master of Ceremonies needs to be able to explain the order of things and make comments in his home language. This will ensure that guests are able to hear and understand him, and will make him feel more comfortable and confident. For the same reason, it is vital that you give him a microphone, not relying on the acoustics of the room to carry his voice. It is frustrating for guests straining their ears to hear when the food will be served or who will be giving the next speech.

When choosing your MC, do not choose someone that has a serious probability of becoming tipsy or drunk during the course of the evening (you know who they are!). This will increase the likelihood of him ‘spilling some beans’ or becoming confused, inappropriate or forgetful.

When choosing your MC, consider the very different types of things that he will have to do on the night, and try to picture your potential list of people doing this. The job of the Master of Ceremonies includes:

• Creating a pleasant flow during the reception (between speeches, after meals, and so on)
• Announcing the arrival of the parents as well as the bride and groom
• Making other necessary announcements (such as parking, when the food will be served, etc…)
• Choosing a few games to play with the audience while they wait for the bride and groom (e.g. trivia or jokes)
• Telling appropriate stories about the couple that the guests may enjoy
• Releasing each table to get their food
• Announcing when the bride and groom leave the reception for their honeymoon

Image Credit: Whitsundays Online

Cringe at the Cost

The most effective tactic to getting a supplier to lower their price is to cringe, flinch or recoil upon hearing or seeing the cost. Any good supplier will value your business more than the few extra Rands he can make by charging more. This means that, when you express shock, he or she is likely to negotiate more willingly in order to keep your business. You may frown, look surprised, or exclaim “How much?!” to convey your disdain effectively. The supplier will either explain the high cost or will immediately begin to offer cheaper alternatives.

Know the Game

Understand that many wedding suppliers actually expect for their clients to request a discount, so they jack up their prices to accommodate for such concessions. Do not be suckered into then paying the full amount when that is just set on the off-chance that someone will be naive enough to pay it. If they are not budging on the price, try to point out any flaws with the items (e.g. scratches or dents) or service (e.g. not really having as many staff members as you needed or your having to sacrifice your ideal starter for their menu options). This will make their offering look less valuable and will give you added power to negotiate.

Be Educated

Do your homework before attempting to negotiate with anyone. Know how much you should be paying for specific items and services. Decide on what is the maximum price you will pay for an item and do not compromise, as this will only interfere with your budget and force you to compromise in other areas. It will be very clear that you are aware of the fair price for an item or service if you have some comparative information. This is likely to sway the provider as they definitely do not want you to go to their competition. It is also vital that you find out more about your provider; such as how their quality compares with that of their rivals and what extras are included in their price.

Practice Makes Perfect

The only way to become confident about negotiating prices is to do it more often. Take opportunities when visiting the market, chatting to work-related suppliers and even asking for a price break from your local fashion store. Saying things like “that’s too expensive” (wait for response) or “what discounts are you offering today?” will teach you the confidence you need when organising your wedding.

Stick to Your Guns

If the store or supplier cannot give you the price you can reasonably afford to pay, walk away. Look around for cheaper suppliers or try to find similar, but more cost-effective, options. If you are not able to and the product or service is absolutely required, then rethink your budget and go back. Do not make this a hasty decision, though. Keep the power in your hands.

Images Courtesy of No Knows Weddings