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Modern groomsmen are often given the impression that their job is merely to arrive looking good and to stand with the groom as he enjoys his biggest day yet. However, this is not the case. The groomsmen can and should play a fundamental part in the wedding planning and success of your wedding day. To ensure that this is the case, avoiding asking people that you know are not particularly mature or responsible. Do not choose someone that will be out of town for much of the pre-wedding period, or someone that is generally swamped with work-related duties.

In terms of age or profile, there are no limitations to who the groomsmen can be. In fact, it is even becoming more and more acceptable to have female groomsmen (groomswomen?). Once your desired groomsmen have agreed to be such at your wedding day, make sure that you have informed them fully of their responsibilities. They should feel comfortable to approach you or your fiancé with questions or concerns and should all be given tasks that are well within their capabilities.

When grooming your groomsmen, include the following responsibilities so that they are acutely aware of their part in your wedding:

  • Ensure that he is present for suit fittings.
  • Collect the suit before the wedding and return it afterwards (he needs to be responsible for this himself).
  • Help to plan the bachelor party or stag night. This will include financial contributions and / or the offering of a suitable venue or service.
  • Buy the bride and groom a wedding gift, just like other wedding guests.
  • Attend all pre-wedding events, including the rehearsal and stag night or bachelor party.
  • Help the Best Man to perform any of his duties, if necessary.
  • Welcome the guests politely to the wedding ceremony.
  • Usher guests to their seats (always take the lady by the arm and lead her and her partner to their seats).
  • Walk a bridesmaid down the aisle ahead of the bride.
  • Make themselves aware of fire exits, emergency procedures, toilets, and so on, so that they are able to help the guests needing this information.
  • May be required to give a speech if the Best Man is not, for some reason, fulfilling this task.
  • Dance with the bridesmaids, mothers and bride, and encourage the other guests to dance.
  • Decorate the bridal car with streamers, shaving foam, and so on (check with the groom well ahead of time if this is acceptable!)

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