The groom-to-be’s bachelor party or stag night has haunted their better halves for decades. This is usually because she imagines nights of heavy drinking at unsavoury establishments, coupled with some moral misbehaviour. While this kind of evening certainly has been the outcome of many a bachelor’s party, modern times and social norms have changed. Contemporary grooms are tending away from such raucous celebrations and more towards a barbecue with the lads, or an adventurous boys’ weekend away.
To abate your concerns as the future bride, communication is key. Share with your fiancé you concerns about this party in a mature and fair way. Do not let your feelings of jealousy cloud your sense of fairness in this respect. It is vital to allow him to have this party if it is what he really wants. He will only end up resenting you, and his friends may not ever truly recover from being robbed of enjoying his last few moments of pre-marital company if you decide to forbid it. When having this honest and open conversation with him, explain what you will definitely not be happy with (e.g. can he go to a bar but not a strip club?) and support why you feel this way. This will help him to make his own decision on the night, based on your fair approach and his understanding of your reasonable requests.
Without interfering too much or mothering him, make sure that arrangements have been made for a responsible, trustworthy friend that will not be drinking to drive your fiancé from one venue to the next and home again. This will give you peace of mind regarding his safety during the evening. Once you have made these arrangements, or ensured that he has, you should resist the temptation to call him during the course of his evening. He will feel that you do not trust him and will not be likely to relax and enjoy this time with his friends.
The best way to distract yourself on the night or weekend of his bachelor’s party is to have a girly event of your own at the same time. Spoil yourselves and do something that you know you will really enjoy. Pamper yourselves, go out dancing, enjoy cocktails as you watch the sunset…do whatever it takes to distract yourself and help you to enjoy your evening just as much as he is. This will also go a long way in getting you to relax and think about something other than wedding planning, which can become rather stressful.
Acting in a mature and understanding way will evoke a deep sense of respect in your future husband as he considers what trust it required on your behalf. It will also motivate him to make more effort in reassuring you of his movements and activities, giving you the confidence that he will keep you in mind before going anywhere or doing anything. Ultimately, you are not able to control what he does for his bachelor party, or on any other night before or after your wedding. The trust you share has been earned over time, and the value of this trust is priceless.
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