Planning your wedding is inevitably stressful, no matter how calm your usual demeanour or how simple your big day is meant to be. There are some particularly common issues that are generally brought to the fore during this time as this is the period in which you are both forced to think about them and deal with them before this major commitment. These issues include:
The money spent on your wedding is meant for both of you to enjoy. This fight usually involves the groom being concerned at the amount of money being spent on things like wedding gowns and flowers, when it may be better invested in your honeymoon or new home together. While this requires sensitivity, it also requires that you both think fairly about the situation and try to understand it from the others’ perspective. It will also require a certain amount of sacrifice and compromise. It is imperative that there be a formal budget in place, upon which both of you have agreed.
If your partner’s side of the family is insisting that too many of their members be invited, or if they are trying to gain control of your day, this requires serious, logical, tactful conversation with him or her. Ask them for a workable solution with which they will feel comfortable and take their feelings and emotions into account. The way that this gets handled with give both of you a glimpse into future family disagreements.
Lack of Interest
Many grooms-to-be find it difficult to get excited about the embossed table place cards or fairy lights and draping. Brides-to-be, on the other hand, have been dreaming of such details since before they could even spell “fairy”. The trick is to acknowledge that men are different about these things and that his lack of excitement does not mean that he does not want to marry you. It also does not mean that he doesn’t want to be included in the planning process at all. Continue to chat to him about what he wants and how he feels about décor, food, music and so on. This will ensure that he feels that it is his big day too. At the same time, surround yourself with good girlfriends that can share in your enthusiasm so that you do not become downhearted about your celebration.
You may not have chosen the group of friends that your partner favours, but you need to respect that they are there and they make your future-spouse happy. Neither of you should insist on excluding a specific friend based on personal feelings, as the other will only resent it. If you are concerned about the way that the person will act at your wedding, ask your partner to speak to them or appoint someone to befriend them and monitor them for bad behaviour.
Stress can do strange things to an emotional and, perhaps, hormonal woman. Every bride-to-be will have her pre-wedding tantrums, but these can get out of hand or become overwhelming, not just for her but also for the man who looks at her with confusion, desperation and disdain. It is vital to remember that no wedding is worth ruining your relationship over, and that he needs the same time and attention that he was getting beforehand. This may require that you make a concerted effort to relax, do something fun together and try to forget the wedding for a day (or more).
Signing prenuptial agreements does not mean that he or she is planning the divorce already. It only shows sensible preparation. Besides, these legal agreements work to your advantage too.
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